A New Lens on Anger (One I Wish Someone Gave Me Sooner)

-

 

A New Lens on Anger (One I Wish Someone Gave Me Sooner)

(A gentle invitation to step back, breathe, and stop giving away your power.)

Let’s talk about anger, that fiery little emotion that shows up uninvited, usually at the worst possible time, wearing its muddy shoes and knocking over all the peace we spent the whole morning creating.

We tend to think anger means someone else messed up.
But here’s a thought, maybe it’s actually us punishing ourselves for the mistakes of others.

Yep. I know. I didn’t love that sentence either when it first landed in me.

The Myth of “Control”

Most people think anger is about control.

“If I raise my voice, they’ll listen.”
“If I show I’m upset, they’ll change.”
“If I push harder, I’ll win.”

But here’s the twist:
How can we control others when we can’t even control our own thoughts, reactions, or words in that moment?

If we lose our temper, we’ve already lost the very control we think we’re trying to gain.

And if you really think about it…

Anger is the other person already winning.

Because their behaviour triggered you.
Their comment shook you.
Their action disturbed your peace.

The moment you explode, they’ve succeeded in exactly what they set out to do, even if they didn’t know they were doing it.

Ouch.
But also… freeing.
Because it means your power is yours to reclaim.

Where Anger Really Comes From

Here’s the tricky part:
Anger is almost always rooted in I, me, myself.

  • “How could THEY do this to ME?”

  • “Why did THEY not consider MY feelings?”

  • “Why is this happening to MY peace?”

And when you gently remove the “I” from the equation, something magical happens.

You start seeing the fact, not the story.
The event, not the interpretation.
The reality, not the emotional drama your mind added for spice.

Most anger is simply our ego defending what it thinks happened, not what actually happened.



What I Wish I Knew Sooner

If someone had told me this in my early days, truly told me, not as advice but as understanding,
I would have saved so much energy.

So much peace.
So many arguments with myself.
So many imaginary conversations in the shower.
So many headaches, stomach knots, and tight shoulders.

I would have redirected all that emotion into gratitude instead of letting anger chew through my boundaries like termites.

Because anger, if not processed properly, doesn’t just vanish.
It settles.
Into the body.
Into behaviours.
Into patterns.
Into the nervous system.

And suddenly you’re reacting to things that happened years ago but your mind hasn’t realised the threat is already over.

Anger Isn’t Bad Rather It’s a Messenger

This is the part I really want you to hear:

Anger isn’t wrong.
It isn’t shameful.
It isn’t a flaw in your personality.

It’s simply an emotion that needs a healthy exit route.

Like a child throwing a tantrum, it just wants to be heard, seen, and redirected.

Anger processed well turns into:

  • clarity

  • boundaries

  • self-respect

  • and unbelievable emotional freedom

Anger processed poorly turns into:

  • pain

  • resentment

  • physical symptoms

  • and repeating the same story with different people

The emotion itself isn’t the problem.
The lens is.

A Small Invitation for You

Next time you feel anger bubbling up, try this:

Pause. Not forever. Just for a breath.
Ask yourself:

  • What is the actual fact here?

  • What story am I adding to the fact?

  • What is this emotion trying to show me about ME?

  • Is this about the situation… or my interpretation of it?

And then breathe.
Sit with the truth, not the trigger.

Your peace is too expensive to give away so easily.

Your Turn — Tell Me Your Story

I’d love to know your thoughts on this.
What has helped you regulate your anger?
What worked the last time you were annoyed by a person or situation?
How do you calm yourself when everything in you wants to react?

Share with me because I genuinely want to hear your experience.

Because when we begin to talk about anger openly,
we begin to understand it.
And when we understand it,
we stop letting it run our life.

Blessings 

Puja

www.MeetPuja.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Lonely, Just Aligned - A Healer’s Take on Solitude, Relationships, and the Sacred Space In Between

-
Image
You know that woman who dines alone at her favorite restaurant, sipping her tea like she owns the place? Or that guy who doesn’t say much in groups but somehow radiates calm like a forest you want to get lost in? People often whisper, “Aww, they seem so alone…” Meanwhile, they’re thinking, “Finally. No drama. No small talk. No ‘we should catch up soon’ texts we both know we’ll ignore.” Let’s get this out of the way early: solitude is not a curse. It’s not a failure. And it’s not something to pity.  Sometimes, it’s just alignment and yes, it might come with a side of awkward silences, herbal tea, and deep emotional excavation. (Ask me how I know.) Healing often looks like you are the odd one out. As an energy medicine practitioner — and just a human who’s been thoroughly initiated through life — I’ve come to see solitude not as a red flag, but as a rite of passage. There was a time when I would say yes to every invitation, reply to every message with a “haha sure!” and bend my...
Read more

Symptoms: What Is Your Body Trying To Tell You?

-
Symptoms:  What Is Your Body  Trying to Tell You? Have you ever noticed how certain symptoms seem to flare up when you’re around specific people or in certain situations? Maybe it’s the pounding headache that strikes after every family gathering or the dizziness that creeps in every Monday morning before work. Or perhaps you’ve observed an odd pattern—symptoms that show up like clockwork, the same time every year. Why does this happen? Could your body be holding on to more than just aches and pains? The Connection Between Trauma and Symptoms Your body remembers everything, even when you don’t. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his groundbreaking book The Body Keeps the Score , revealed how unprocessed trauma can become stored in the body, manifesting as physical symptoms. It’s not just in your head—it’s in your cells, your nervous system, and even the timing of your flare-ups. Take, for example, a client I worked with who had persistent skin issues every April. Through muscle testin...
Read more

Understanding Autoimmunity: Why Your Immune System Is Not the Enemy

-
Image
Understanding Autoimmunity: Why Your Immune System Is Not the Enemy  Your immune system is designed to protect you. It works tirelessly from day one, defending your body from harmful invaders like bacteria and viruses while learning to tolerate friendly microbes and harmless substances like food. From birth, this complex system is shaped by genetics and external factors such as how you were born, whether you were breastfed, and the overall health of the mother. Early on, much of your immune defense depends on the antibodies that mother transfers to baby until the body is strong enough to develop its own robust immune responses. But what happens when this defense system turns inward, mistakenly attacking your tissues, organs, and cells? This phenomenon is called autoimmunity. While it can be frightening to receive an autoimmune diagnosis, there’s hope. Understanding why your body is reacting this way is the key to restoring balance and reclaiming your health. The Body’s Wisdom: Auto...
Read more